if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
