When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
