ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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