so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
