goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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