The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
