If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
