I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
