you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
