The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
