i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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