shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
