at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
