My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
