I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
