Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Did I show you my penis last night?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
