Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
