I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
please come you make the beer taste better
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
