Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
