at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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