Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
