"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
