I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
