everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
