I think I just saw someone hide a body.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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