Betty ford says i'm here all night
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
