and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
