mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
