I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
