4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My sheets look like a crime scene.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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