honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
