he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
ttyl tear gas
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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