Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
