they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
