We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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