I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
