what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she pinky promised me she was 18
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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