Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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