You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
