upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
