It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I need a beard to bite.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
