just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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