Heybabeimwearingurpanties
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
