11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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