oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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