I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
