We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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