I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
