He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
