I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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