I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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