And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
