this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
