OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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